There appear to be two contradictory beliefs in the world about Desire.
1. New Age Beliefs – e.g. Law of Attraction.
You must really WANT it. Do this for long enough and YOU WILL GET IT.
2. Older Beliefs - inspired by religious views.
To be truly spiritual you must renounce desire (Christian) or transcend desire. (eastern approach). The underlying message is “Don’t Desire!”
From an energetic point of view, DESIRE simply IS. It’s a natural phenomenon that arises within us - and it moves us towards action and creativity. It’s only when our minds get involved that we start to mess it up. We take a position on it, either consciously or unconsciously. Our minds change the desire to “I WANT IT” – and then to “I HAVE TO HAVE THIS FOR MY HAPPINESS”.
We may still believe that DESIRE is somehow not “Spiritual” – and so we suppress this powerful and natural force that lies deep within us. But when I looked into this myself, many years ago, I found that I was “DESIRING DESIRELESSNESS”. Yikes, we’re very tricky creatures!
What helped me most was my curiosity about our Energetic Data Centres, or Chakras. I spent years studying and training in different Energy modalities, so as to get very familiar with what was going on inside me. Now I see that DESIRE has a purpose – and that purpose is deep within everything that’s alive, in different ways. All seeds seem to be implanted with the desire to break out of their shells and manifest as flowers, bushes and trees. All of us humans are implanted with the DESIRE to grow. That’s what fuels our continuing expansion, our willingness to test our edges and to try new ways of thinking , relating and feeling.
The purpose of the second chakra is to stimulate and allow this movement, which causes us to “grow” as human beings. Once we have taken care of our survival needs ( First Chakra) we instinctively move towards what we desire, just like a child does, from about 3 months onward. The child is biologically programmed to move - away from pain, and towards pleasure. It begins to crawl, to move towards nice things, and away from painful things. This is why we fill up the playpens and cots with brightly coloured toys that are nice to touch and make lovely sounds. It’s very natural to desire.
When we open into our desires as adults, we meet what we call energetic blockages. We will meet many stories in our minds that have taken root from an early age. The story may have taken root when you were two or three, when you desired something - and didn’t get it. Instead your desires may have met with disapproval, or even anger. Most of us in my generation were subtly ( and not so subtly) programmed not to want too much, and that we should always remember the “starving babies”. A Yes, of course we should – but most of went on to shut down desire, because we associated it with pain – the pain of not getting our desires and needs met.
You may discover that, as an adult, this pattern still exists, and that you still repress DESIRE. In some traditions, there’s still the belief that the shutting down of DESIRE is a good thing in itself. It’s a good thing to question your mind every now and then, and ask yourself – What is my relationship to DESIRE? Can I allow myself to FEEL DESIRE? – in its natural purity.
Just like the bee seeking out the honey and the flower seeking out the light, a healthy part of us seeks out things which give us pleasure. There’s nothing wrong with that – nothing at all, unless you tell yourself different. What happens for most of us is that we believe that the desire is somehow “wrong” or that the “honey” is reserved for others – and so we block our own natural desire to expand and enjoy life.
Last week, I tuned into a DESIRE deep in me – the DESIRE to play guitar on stage, to make music with others. But I couldn’t see myself actually there – on stage. I saw that my mind wouldn’t stretch that far. It had lots of “logical” reasons why it won’t ever happen. It said things like … “You’re too old, you don’t sing well enough, you’re not any good on guitar, people will be bored” – and so on, ad infinitum! Of course, I don’t listen to it all, but it’s still there, in the background. So, I have work to do – and I’ll enjoy teasing it all out!
So ask yourself – If my mind didn’t get in the way, what could I allow myself to truly desire? Can I see myself getting that? If I can’t, what’s in the way?
I offer Free Introductory Soul Coaching sessions in Belfast and Dublin so click here if you are interested in finding out how I can help you to work out what you truly desire in your life.