How to Break Through instead of Breaking Down

I remember being asked by my first Life Coach back in 2004 “why don’t you allow yourself to let go and cry, Jenny?” She was clearly aware of the anguish and pain which I was repressing and bottling up at the time. I replied that I didn’t want to start crying because I thought that once I started, I would never stop.

I genuinely felt so miserable with my life that I believed that to be true. My Life Coach then said something which fundamentally changed the way I viewed my emotional world ..... “We are already in a million pieces. When we cry, we put some of the pieces back together again, Jenny.”

So, I went home after that session and I gave myself permission to let go and cry. And, boy, did I cry! I cried until I was empty and exhausted and then I slept like a baby for the first time in months. When I awoke, I realised that although it had felt like I was having an emotional breakdown at the time, the simple act of allowing myself this emotional release or letting go had actually been a major breakthrough for me. In letting go off all the frustration, resentment, hurt and anger which I had been pushing down, I had literally emptied myself out and, of course, when something is empty, we can then fill it up with new stuff. I now know that if we want to break through something, more often than not, we have to break down first.  Elizabeth Lessor's book BROKEN OPEN and Marianne Williamson's A RETURN TO LOVE were both of great comfort to me at this stage in my life.


The majority of clients come for Life Coaching because something is breaking down in their life whether it be their career, love life, health or self-confidence.  They are usually going through a process of transition which is usually really scary, unsettling and deeply confusing for us.  It is a time when we need someone who can help us to navigate the changing inner landscape. What we thought we knew or what was familiar to us is crumbling either internally or externally. The mental, emotional or circumstantial structures which we have built in our lives are shifting. We can feel overwhelmed by fear and uncertainty at times like this.

My personal and professional experience now shows me that some form of breakdown is actually essential if we are to breakthrough to something even better in our life. Things are reorganising in your life and they will reorganise at a higher, more intelligent level if you allow them to and if you stay focused on what it is that you truly want from your life. So, as you let go off the old and let it breakdown, ground yourself regularly, surround yourself with positive support and hold the intention for what you desire deep in your heart. Oh, and DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE!

If this blog resonates with you then I strongly recommend that you do what I did and hire a good Life Coach to support you through this transition.  Click here and see which of my FreshStart Accredited Coaches resonates with you and then simply book a FREE Introductory Session with them today to find out how they can help you.